Friday, July 7, 2017

Mr. R of Elysium

Masseur Review

A friend of mine kept of talking about this cute therapist in Elysium.  How his massage was good and everything.  That I should try the guy because he is worth it. I told him that Elysium has a bad reputation for just ES not a good massage. But my friend kept on insisting that I go and would not stop talking about it.  Magmahay gyud daw ko kung dili nako ma hire ni siya.  Okay! Fine!  So I went to Elysium but I was still skeptical of this guy.

So I got Mr. R. as suggested by my friend.  So there I was waiting for Mr. R.  He came in, washed my feet and guided me to my cubicle.

He is around 5'6 (167 centimeter), fair skinned, chinito, has the looks, lean but no abs.  Not athletic.

I checked the time just before he came in and started the massage.

The massage started well, he knows how to give a massage BUT then I observed he was a bit quick.  He would give a few rubs on my back and legs and that was it.  I knew this was going to be a short massage.  Wala gyud ko na sayop.  All I could think was my friends gushing review of this guy. Bwisit gyud ning akong amigo!

Mr. R started rubbing my tight to make me get erect and a bit of the chest.  He then went close to my ear and whispered..."sir, human na...gusto ka mag pa extra?"  Mao na to?  That was it?  That was the massage?

I wanted 500 for ES but he insisted 700 Pesos.  Kay lamion daw gyud niya.  Okay...fine!  He started nibbling my nipple with his teeth which I found uncomfortable.  I kept on pushing him away.  It did not like it.  It was a disappointing ES.

When he went out to get the hot towel, I checked the time and massage including the ES was done in under 40 minutes.  Under time again.

So after this uneventful encounter I talked to my friend about what happened.  He was surprised I was disappointed of Mr. R.  My friend was clearly upset and then blurted out "tamili ug arte ka kaayo". Say what?!! So I responded back..."kibalo ka?  ikaw wala kay pili, wala kay standards nga kung mu tukar gani ang uwag nimo miski iro mu tuwad ka na dayon! unya mu ingon ka dayon the best sex ever!"  End of friendship! hahahaha

Conclusion

I take facts as it is.  I have a criteria to follow for my review.  Kung pangit ang spa, PANGIT gyud!  Kung walay ayo ang masahista, WALA gyud!  If you do not meet my criteria, you fail.

As for Mr. R?  He clearly failed.  Good bye Mr. R and my former friend hehehe

6 comments:

  1. "former friend" mao ra iyung gi awayan ang bahin sa massage?

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    1. Hahaha bayot mo pa. Friends na pud mi balik hehehe. But I was vindicated by my comment. One of his friend tried Mr. R and had the same comment with me. I wanted to tell him, I told you pero wala na kay para dili na mu samot ug kagubot.

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  2. Murag in ana na silang tanan dinha even the famous Mr. H---sa una he always delivered the best service, massage and extra. The last time I went there, he volunteered to handle me. It was terrible---it was finished in 30 mins. Massage was a joke, extra was forgettable too. Worst, he smelled bad especially his hands murag sibuyas bombay---sorry, dili ni pandaut, just sharing facts hopefully to improve their service.

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    1. I would not be surprised. Mao gihapon na hitabo sa mga masseurs akong gi recommend dinhi sa blog. I used to have "Featured Masseurs" blog page. They were good at first but later on they became assholes. Lisod kaayo mangita ug masahista nga tarong sa CDO. That is why this blog is important. So we can update ourselves if the spa or masseur is doing well or doing bad. Thanks

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    2. Got the same experience with that spa.. sauna okay man cla..karun kay puro ES nlng apas.. understabdable man na they get higher income from ES than their share in massage. But at least they couldve performed the massage well. Para worth it pod unta ang payment. But i just decided ti have my massage at a different spa na.. dont have plans to return there

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